Do you work in an office, counting down the hours minutes and seconds until the end of the day?
Are you self employed and wish you were busier?
Does time pass you by and you can’t even recall what you did five minutes ago?
I ask this question because I am trying to improve my relationship with Time. My mantra until recently was "there are not enough hours in the day", but there must be mustn't there? Is it about the number of hours or how I choose to use them?
Time and I started showing cracks in our relationship towards the end of July. We were going away for a three week holiday..what was I thinking, people who are running their own business and have a Masters dissertation to submit don't go away on three week jaunts.
Anyway, some might say foolishly, I decided to try and SQUEEZE my usual workload plus the work I would have done in the coming three weeks in before I went away.
You guessed it, Time wasn’t having it, he dug his heels in and after tantrums, tears, threats and drama he finally sabotaged my laptop (oh yes, paranoia had also set in by this point) I was fuming, frustrated and starting to step on the wrong side of Sanity Street.
"I wanted to have everything done so that I could have a wonderful relaxing holiday" I screeched, but by now Time was just giving me the silent treatment. Sent to Coventry (I must look up where that saying come from), I slowly began to realise that he was right, it was an impossible task. It was like trying to fit my size ten body into a pair of size six jeans, they couldn't give any more even if I resorted to firm hold pants.
So for the sake of our relationship, I let go of work and other pressures and I remembered what it was like to have a fabulous relationship with Time. While on holiday, we woke, up, ate and slept as and when we wanted to, bliss. Did I use him wisely? Probably not, but it’s OK to be frivolous sometimes isn't it?
I did have a slight relapse when we got back, panic stricken ten hour days in the library trying to craft my dissertation fleetingly pass through my mind, but Time understood that this was only temporary.
I thought that I would be my own worst enemy when it came to sustaining my relationship with Time, but it was others that didn’t appreciate it. Clients frowned disapprovingly when I said that I was going home at 2pm instead of scheduling in further appointments. Colleagues appeared disappointed at what they perceived as a lack of ambition when I decided not to join meetings that started at 6.30pm.
"Don’t they want our relationship to work?" I asked time. "Perhaps they are just jealous" he replied.
I had thought that the issue was
my relationship with time, but it was bigger than that, having a relationship with Time is definitely not the norm. It seems that society values: busyness, full days of doing and striving to do more with less. All the things that I was trying to get away from.
Don’t get me wrong, a relationship with Time needs nurturing like any other, it’s not all velvet petaled red roses, good red wine and delightful milk chocolates with strawberry centres you know.
Julia Cameron in the Artists Way recommends weekly dates with yourself as a way of nurturing your relationship with Time. This could be as simple as visiting a coffee shop and spending twenty minutes with you and Time staring into each other’s eyes to a full blown date at the theatre or an art gallery perhaps. It can just be waking up thirty minutes earlier so that you and Time can sit peacefully together on the sofa.
Time and I are working on it, it’s easy to fall into old habits or succumb to the habits that others want you to keep, but I realise that by nurturing my relationship with Time; ideas, creativity, fun, laughter and peace will come.
So I'd say that it’s worth the work. Do you think you'll try it? I am willing to share him if you want to give it a try.
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Enabling illumination through reflexion
