Dont be complacent - break those frames!

I have found a modern myth while reading about women leaders, this is that women "naturally" or innately have the attributes, qualities and skills to perfectly equip them to lead in the 21st century.

Yes many women ARE great at networking, nurturing, caring and considering others, but many womens ARE also great at focusing on the task, getting things done and making tough decisions.
Chapters entitled "The female leadership advantage" should leave me elated, but instead they create malaise within me with their generic message. I sought to reconcile this feeling of discomfort with my personal experience. One particular client came to mind from my coaching practice, a senior female leader who struggled with her relationships with men that reported to her, they complained of her task focus and lack of compassion, she had attempted to fit into the stereotypical role of woman as nurturer, mother, listener and found that her work and happiness in her role were suffering, this is the point at which we started the coaching relationship. The client I refer to found that being herself was important and developing some skills around really listening and emotional intelligence were what she needed to develop, rather than the masculine cluster that Feminist scholars note of being :Cultured, Strong, Effective, Responsible and Rational, (Gergen, 1999, p. 108) she was already those things.
Luxuriating in the myth will only serve to set you back, shouldn't men and women be able to flex their approach and have a range of skills?

It's time to start breaking the frames that hold you back?
How do you break frames?

You surface those deep held assumptions

Some I have heard are:

• I shouldn't sing my own praises, if i wait long enough they'll recognise my
  talents

• My skills aren't as good as those who lead in my organisation

• I would have to give up too much to become a leader

• I would have to change (in a way I don't like) to do the job

• I should feel guilty for being at work and not at home, as they cant manage
  without me

• If I am assertive, I will be seen as a pushy woman

• I will loose my femininity if I become a leader.

You need to get to the heart of these beliefs and work out if these are true for you now and then we move forward from a place of insight, rejuvenated and energized to make real change.

Start to break your own frames
Ask yourself:

What is it about being a leader in my organisation that I have decided I cannot do?
What is the reality?
Will I really have to give up my life outside work to get the job done?
What unique skills could I bring to the role?
How could I do it better?
How much more could I influence from a more senior position?
What needs to change in me?
How could I relate better to men, how do I handle the sexual static that occurs between men and women?
What do I need to do to be more visible?
How do I promote myself?
How to I ensure that I am heard and not just dismissed as being emotional?

We are all already "androgynous"- able to be people and task focused, part masculine and feminine, sometimes it's about demonstrating that to others!

Next week - Sexual Static